APOLOGIES

I'm honestly so disappointed in myself. I had so many great things planed for my channel and yet I procrastinated and didn't do anything. My channel now looks abandoned like I don't care, and I do! I have so many videos half edited or footage I haven't gotten to editing. Im so sorry that I have come to be this inconsistent person. I promised myself once I got my camera that there would be more videos and better videos, yet that didn't happen. School and friend drama has been super prominent right now and I feel like Im drowning in stress. Tomorrow is my last full week of school and then I have my last 4 days of school. I hope to get all my studying done this weekend and all next week work on finishing almost done videos. I am so sorry and I don't ever want to take a break this long again.

xoxo Ellie

School

I am nearing the end of my middle school years and going into the unknown, very frightening, high school years *dun dun dunnn*. A lot of people I know are leaving and it scares me because I can't stand the thought of some of my best friends leaving me. Although I know they aren't truly going to be gone, it still is a difficult thing for my little mind to grasp. As I talked about in my last post, our school does these senior projects called capstones. When I was in 6th grade I always imagined my senior self getting on main stage with Mr. Morello as my mentor and announcing that I was going to tisch and pursuing acting. Ever since 7th grade that all changed, I began to get into makeup and then considered getting into the makeup industry. I totally dropped acting as a possibility, even though I was so young I wanted to make my life decisions so soon. I was that girl. The girl that had her whole life planned out by the time she was 11. Now I am in the 8th grade and need to decide what I am going to do with my high school years. All my other friends have difficult decisions to be making like what private school to go to or if they're going to move, mines not that difficult. I want to stay at the school that I am at currently and then do an early college program for my junior and senior years. I know its not as exciting as getting into a fancy private school or moving to a different country but I think it will allow me to get more serious about what I want to do with my life sooner. Also I might meet cute college boys and have less classes. which sounds amazing. um so sorry if this isn't a super cool and interesting topic but my life is pretty boring and I didn't have anything to talk about.

xoxo

Ellie  

This is going to be a Chiché entry

So I haven't wrote on this blog for a few weeks. Honestly I didn't know what to write about, I mean I still don't (I'm not going to go super in depth with about this topic, though I might in a later entry). I guess I don't care who reads this, this is what I'm feeling right now and I want to share it with you all. Recently when I'm with my friends I have this insecure feeling that I've never felt before. I feel like every movement I make and thing that comes out of my mouth is going to be judged. Its honestly gotten to the point where I don't want to say anything anymore, not because I don't feel safe around my friends. I love my friends and my family so much and I trust them to never judge me negatively, but that's exactly what I'm doing to myself. I don't want to talk about my self because I don't want to sound to selfish but I don't want to talk about others to much to the point where people get annoyed with me. So I end up trying not to talk, but that doesn't always go the way I want it to. I always end up saying the wrong thing and immediately regretting it. People think I care to much of what others think but it's the complete opposite, I care to much of what I think. I have this idea of a perfect girl that says the perfect things and everyone loves her. I have come to a realization that she is an image of people I have seen and who I aspire to be, she is not real and I just need to learn to love what my mama gave me. So for all the people that think we insecure people are afraid of you, you're wrong. We are afraid of the monsters that live inside of us and come out to haunt us every time we look in the mirror. I believe sadness is something you choose, it is not chosen for you. I fed my sadness by looking at depressing blogs and never excepting who I was.

This week was capstone week at our school. Capstones are artistic presentations seniors do to show us how our school has changed them, and their life journey. There were two capstones that particularly stood out to me. They both talked about their insecurity's and how they dealt with them, something I could clearly relate to. I felt as though they were directly talking to me, like I was the only one in that building. Like their monologues were written just for me, I felt a little less alone and more understood. I came to a realization this week that there is no point in regretting, being negative or shy. Why not just live life to the fullest? This might seem like a quite simple concept to grasp, but for me it took a while. I would look at everything very negatively but now I see why positive people are confident and a brighter as a whole.

I believe that in life you receive what you give, when you're a positive person I believe you will receive  positivity in the form of loving friends and family and amazing opportunity's. Negativity is a choice, why not choose positivity. I'm so sorry this was so chiché but its whats on my mind and wanted to get something up.

Till next time, 
xoxo Ellie

Shopping OOTD ft Annie

Bargain Hunters and bargain outfits!

So the other day I went shopping with my friend Annie and I thought it would be a good idea to do an OOTD of both of our outfits. We had such a fun time thrifting and eating veggie grill. Both of our outfits are fairly expensive, this just goes to prove that just because an outfit is less expensive doesn't mean it's not still a great outfit. Here's what we wore on our girls day out!
                                                         
                                                                     Annie's outfit ♥

Top: forever 21

Shorts: d.i.y. (levi's)

Bag: unknown

Shoes: vince camuto

Sunglasses: Nordstrom bp

Annie's outfit is super chic but still comfortable (reminds me of a casual version of gossip girl) Defiantly my favorite part of her outfit is her purse. It's adorable, enough said. Also she found her sunglasses for only 5 bucks a few years ago at nordstrom bp, now they are like 10 but that is still a great price!

My outfit ♥

Cardigan: Forever 21

Shirt: H&M

Shorts: Forever 21

Socks: Forever 21

Shoes: Converse

(golly that's a lot of f21) 

I love this outfit mostly because of the shorts, they are actually pretty nice quality for f21 and only 18 bucks! Also the shirt from H&M was only like 5 bucks, this outfit is pretty expensive but still super cute!

xoxo Ellie 

OOTD for a photo day ☮

OOTD bc I was wearing a cute outfit ☼

Today I went out and took some pictures for photo class and this is what I threw on so I didn't look like a slob. by the way it's actually some what warm today, thank the lord.

                                     

Top: Brandy melville (about 20 dollars 

Shorts: forvever 21 (14 dollars)

Bandeau: forever 21 (3 dollars)

Shoes: unknown

Sunglasses: Target

UPDATE ♥

                                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO9hg_dgoGs&feature=youtu.be

Long time, no post. I haven't posted on my channel or here for awhile (even though very few know about this blog) I am making it a goal for myself to post more on here and to just be more dedicated. I have been super busy lately, but now I have a lot more time and I am ready to film!

I hope to post reviews, fashion, OOTD, and just other photos. Now with my new camera I am able to take more pictures for this blog. I really do love making videos and I hope I will feel just as dedicated to this blog as I am to my channel. So many changes have happened just in the last month for me! I posted a video all about it on my channel but I will sum it up for yall' on here. I got a new camera (woot woot)! I got the cannon rebel t3i and I love it. I didn't get just because every other beauty guru has it. I got it because I've been wanting for such a looooooonnnnggg time and its going to be so great for my channel. Its also one of the most simplistic camera known to man. Yes it is popular but everyone is right, it is amazing. I am thinking about buying lights, they are pretty pricey though so I don't know yet. I also ombred my hair, and I absolutely love it. I will have a video up in the next couple of days on how I did it. I will be doing it on my friends hair though because I lost the footage of when I did my hair. I redid my room recently as well! I want to post a room tour but at the same time I really want to wait. I feel like I want to have a bigger audience when I do. I don't want my channel just to be about how many subscribers I have its just that is a special video and I want to make sure that a lot of people will see it, not just 50 people. So those are just a few of the changes that have happened in my life. If you want to see everything that has changed be sure to check out my new video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO9hg_dgoGs&feature=youtu.be

Thank you all that came to check out my new blog!

xoxo Ellie  ♥